It has been more than 6 months since I started my TT position. For sometime I have been thinking if academics are generally isolated and/or feel alone?
For me I have been feeling this way. For one, I am much younger than other faculty members in the department and there isn't much time (or energy) that I have after my daily grind.
In general I am good with social situations and have very close friends, but none of them are in vicinity and I take a lot of time to make friends. But with the kind of work TT has loaded on my head it seems that I might not have a friend outside ( or inside) work.
It would be interesting to see what other TT people have to say about this.
What you express is very common, unfortunately. One way is to seek out similar-age folks from other departments/colleges, but such meetings are beset with usual one-upmanship and rooster-like behavior among the faculty -- something you probably want to stay away from on your off time. Best option is to develop friendship outside university setting, but that does take very long to take root.
ReplyDeleteMy short answer is yes, this is normal. Particularly if you are in a generalist-type dept or somewhat alone in your rank. Finding friends outside of the university is always a great idea, I agree with that suggestion
ReplyDeleteYup, even with other TT folks in my college, they all go off and have kids instantly or fill their lives completely with work so that grabbing a beer requires 2 weeks notice. 4 years in and I still don't really have any new real friends, kind've sucks.
ReplyDeleteWhat everyone else said, and I have been a prof for 10 years. On the TT, there's the added thing where department colleagues will in a few years be taking a vote on the continuation or demise of your academic career. So tread lightly...
ReplyDeleteLoneliness might be part of why we all blog, I suppose...
I am assuming that by "tread lightly" you mean...minimize the non-work social interactions?
DeleteJust that you may not want to share your innermost doubts and secrets, especially if you feel the impostor syndrome or other insecurities about your job performance (despair when grant or paper is rejected), with people who will be evaluating you. You can definitely hang out socially, it's probably good to, but keep it somewhat superficial.
DeleteYup sounds about right. Thank you for your advice
DeleteTwo years into my faculty job, I still only have superficial friendships with people at work. Having moved to a brand new city, I don't really have good friends outside of work here either. When you have a significant other and are in your 30's, how are you supposed to make friends? How do you find people that you can just hang out with? So yes, everything you said in your post sounds very familiar to me.
ReplyDeleteYou are right. I am in my early 30's with a wife and year old kid. No time for anything else except for work and family. Good thing that happened to me is that I moved to a city which is close to the grand city that I went to school and grew up. So I have a few close friends who are a drive away (2 hours though) but it helps.
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